Most people know that communication is essential to solving or conveying information. Information that provides insights about ones wants or needs. Instinctively, even as babies with no understanding of language messages from the sender lets the mother know if something is wrong. This method of communication would be considered nonverbal since the receiver must convey the meaning of senders message.
Opportunities to improve how we communicate are every where, still so many people find themselves struggling to find effective means to reach others.
At home, in order to make certain that the household functions effectively many parents have turned to post-it notes that they put on the refrigerator to keep track of their child’s happenings or their spouses whereabouts. About relationships, coaches all over the world would tell you that effective communication skills are vital to most successful partnerships. Don’t take my word for it, attend any relationship counseling session and quickly you will notice that most modern day methods explain the importance of being able to speak the language of your mate if you want to find success in your relationships.
Opportunities to improve how we communicate are every where, still so many people find themselves struggling to find effective means to reach others.
At home, in order to make certain that the household functions effectively many parents have turned to post-it notes that they put on the refrigerator to keep track of their child’s happenings or their spouses whereabouts. About relationships, coaches all over the world would tell you that effective communication skills are vital to most successful partnerships. Don’t take my word for it, attend any relationship counseling session and quickly you will notice that most modern day methods explain the importance of being able to speak the language of your mate if you want to find success in your relationships.
Despite the importance of communication and so much emphasis being place upon the importance of learning your partners love language most people fail the test when their communications skills are finally put to the test.
How could this be in a world where we know how important communication is in most of our relationships with others?
How could this be in a world where we know how important communication is in most of our relationships with others?
Lets explore.
In my experience the first breakdown of most communication begins with the listeners’.
If you can't listen or pick-up non-verbal clues in the communication process you won't have the ability to translate what's being presented in order to respond appropriately.
In my experience the first breakdown of most communication begins with the listeners’.
If you can't listen or pick-up non-verbal clues in the communication process you won't have the ability to translate what's being presented in order to respond appropriately.
Let’s try it:
Person 1: I’ve been working all day and my feet are tired. What are you doing? Can you take the baby so I can get some rest, I’m tired!
Reading this conversation on paper already changes how this piece of communication is interpreted which identifies another key factor to the communication process. If the person stating the sentence above could only read their sentences first, the reaction from the unsuspecting victim of this tone might have better prepared for what person 1 is really saying.
Person 1 is really saying you’re not doing anything of importance and I’m tired so make yourself useful and take this baby. Person 1 might as well add on to the sentence, “You dead beat”.
Now, I know many might say you shouldn’t read into the sentence since that’s not what was said, however, from where I’m sitting there is only one way to read this sentence and that is that person 1 feel that whatever person 2 isn’t doing anything of importance. Depending on the day, the number of times person 2 felt insulted might determine if an argument will come after.
How might Person 2 respond? Let’s take a look:
Person 2: OK…I was doing something right now but I’ll stop to help you out. Sorry your feet are hurting.
Person 2 isn’t totally off the hook since he claims to be helping out the spouse instead of taking on the role of a partner. A better response would have been: “I will be there shortly to get the baby”.
The above example is of two people communicating, however ineffective. Instead of inferring that person 2 wasn’t doing anything important person 1 could have respected whatever person 2 was doing and ask him to help at his first available moment.
Equally, Person 2 should recognize that they are not helping the mate with an exclusive role but doing what they can to help their partner which leads to a more successful relationship.
Adam C Winston
thelifecoach@adamcwinston.com
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